Courteous Driving Resolution - will the effort last even till the new year?

Traffic rules in India seem to be against our social norms. My grandsons make me acutely aware of the cultural difference between the west and our environment. They do not let me even start the car till every person has tied his/her seat belt!

A couple of days ago, the 3 year old was complaining after I used the horn a couple of times - "Mommy never uses the horn". I explained to him that the people were driving in the wrong direction on a one way street and I was upset by them. Yesterday also I used the horn on the same road, which is narrow and very steep.

Today, he and his 5 year old brother were playing and I heard them blow horns and say, "What are you doing? You are on the wrong side!".

I decided that I must start practicing courteous driving, whenever it is "safe" :)

I let people merge or turn at least half a dozen times today. The only minor fear occurred when I let some pedestrians cross. Just as I started, a man ran in front of me. Fortunately, I could stop in time but it gave me a scare.

The courteous driving did not delay me at all as the brief delay hardly mattered given the flow of the traffic.

I, though, still have to retain my composure when a two lane road merging into a single lane for a bridge turns into a 3 lane road. I become a bit aggressive and try to prevent the 3rd lane from merging.

It seems obvious that the optimum solution is that alternate vehicles from the two lanes move into the single lane. Yet we don't do it. Each person from the, now three lanes, tries to squeeze in. Why - even I find myself doing it for fear that I will be stuck and people behind me will blow the horn :(

Need to practice meditation at least on such occasions :(

Am I Stingy?

A recent incident made me feel guilty and question my avoiding taking gifts when visiting people. My rationale has always been that the people have so many possessions already that our token gift is  not going to be of any value. Gifting cash seems vulgar, except for social obligations like weddings and birthdays.

A second point has been that I never remember the gifts except the ones we did not want and did not know what to do with them. However, I valued each visit of relations and friends for making the effort and time to meet us. I remember the cousins who visited us in Goa. I, especially, valued their visits to my parents in Chandigarh in their last days. (There is a lingering hurt of people who promised to visit but didn't. Showing up for the funeral was of 0 value to me.)

I suspect that possibly because  of the birthday party in my childhood when no invitee showed up, I have valued showing up so highly.

I have welcomed a cake or a bar of chocolate and am happy to share them when visiting. Anything else seems like a probable waste of money. Does that make me stingy?

There is one gift I will never forget - Information :)

Over 40 years ago, a friend suggested that I may enjoy The Outsider by Camus.  And later, he suggested Crime and Punishment. This has been a gift of unbelievable value. It has led to everlasting pleasure I have got from the European literature. Were it not for his suggestions, I may never have explored it.

Does a culture of mis-trust encourage and reinforce corrupt behaviour?

The current fraud at Punjab National Bank highlighted the fact that Public Sector bank employees are typically transferred after 3 years and that did not happen in this case. The message is clear that there must have been collusion even if no one will ever be able to prove it.

I have felt that the policy of transferring was counter-productive. It is nice to go to a branch and be recognised and there is a comfort in dealing with familiar faces.

It does not matter that much anymore as I hardly visit the branch and prefer an email response to any query I may have.

However, it seems to be a part of our (Indian) corporate culture as well that we mistrust employees. There is no issue in having checks. However, should the first impression be that it is assumed that an employee will misuse any privilege given and that must be prevented? Isn't the message we are giving to each young, new employee that misuse the privilege but in a way as not to be detected?

I used to feel that software folks will change our culture. The working environment in these companies was so much better and my hope had been that once the older folks were replaced by the younger ones, who had a lot more exposure to working with US/European clients, we will keep getting better.

From what I can gather, that has not happened. Processes have become more like in the rest of the companies, except with greater reliance on tech-tools.

It is unfortunate as a culture of trust would have helped create software companies that could have been the seeds of a new Indian work culture and a hope for a better future for our children.

I just can't get over the failure of our generation to create processes that we trust you unless proven otherwise. How hard should it have been?

I believe very hard in a society convinced of and obsessed by presumptive and notional losses. So, it is a delight to read the likely winding up of the board for

advising the government on enforcing “a code of conduct and ethics for managerial personnel” in these banks, will expire at the end of March. It is unlikely the government will look for a successor to Rai,

Voting Option: Not This One or Anyone But

I keep wondering if the outcome of elections in first-past-the-post would be any different if we had the option to vote against a candidate instead of just for someone.

There are times when one would find it hard to vote for a candidate though the idea of another candidate winning may be even more worrying.

Even in a binary election, the result may not change but the message to the winning party and the moral strength of victory can be very different.

I hope some psephologist would take that up and we can have a better understanding of people's voting intentions.

The goal, of course, would be that can it succeed in politicians avoiding polarising voters and creating a more just society for all.